Handfast

Yesterday was a very important day. Not only did it mark the one year anniversary of our arrival in Great Britain, it was also the day that Brandon and I promised to marry each other in a Celtic handfasting ceremony.

 

First, a little background. For centuries, various groups of people and religions have used ceremonies that involved physically tying the couple's hands together as part of their marriage rites. I've read many, many stories explaining the background of this process, but the one I like the best stems from a time when priests would travel from village to village taking care of the religious needs of a very large area. Because it would often be a long time before a priest would be available to marry a couple, sometimes they would stand before their community and commit to live together as husband and wife for the time period of a year and a day. If the priest came by in that time, they'd be legally married and all would be well. If he didn't however, they could decide to either continue on as married or end the relationship and part ways. The tying of their hands together with a strip of cloth called a ban was symbolic of the joining of two lives and also of their commitment to each other.

 

Our good friends Jesse and Katie gave us the idea and the name of their wedding officiant, Scot, who tailors ceremonies to each couple he works with. He's a tradition keeper - a story teller. We placed a lot of trust in him and didn't actually meet or talk to him in person until we saw him at Craigmillar Park in our ceremony space yesterday. We didn't know what to expect the ceremony to be like, we didn't know what we were supposed to do or even wear. But what did happen was nothing short of perfect. We made promises to each other, exchanged small gifts, and created an experience that is truly unique and totally us.

 

I won't be able to describe the entire ceremony here, it was over much too quickly and I was so wrapped up in the moment that I'm actually having trouble remembering it all already. There is video! I'm so grateful for that. But a few highlights were Brandon promising to always provide me with potatoes, me promising to let him help with the housework, and Brandon lifting me up one handed for a grand celebratory kiss while our hands were still tied together. One moment I will never forget is how the wind picked up and blew hard through the tree in front of us as Scot called on the element of air to be a part of our ceremony. And then, as he called out fire, the clouds parted and the sun shone bright and hot. It felt like we were doing something powerful, something meaningful and perfect right in that moment.

 

But quite possibly the best part was Scot tying our hands together with the beautiful ban that Wendy helped me make. He had us close our eyes, focus on our own breath and heart beat and then change the focus to feel the other person's breath and heart beat fit in beside our own. Looking back on that today, I can't help but think that's really what being a partner to someone is all about. And how interesting that right from the beginning of our relationship I've said how perfectly Brandon fit into every empty little spot I had in my life. I feel like my spirit - or maybe it's the space I take up on the earth - is bigger and more important because he's beside me.

 

Brandon put it very well last night that he feels officially engaged now. And really, that's the perfect way to say it. We've really chosen each other and made it official that we will get married some day soon. Pictures to come!